My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize