Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
