she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you had me at cake vodka
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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