oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
