Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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