True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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