I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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