Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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