So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
