Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize