thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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