In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
