you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize