it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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