I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
