the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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