come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
