Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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