Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
