Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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