brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found puke in my bra..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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