even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
