Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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