I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
