Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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