turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
two words...techno handjob
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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