I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize