Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
