I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
