You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
