do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
