I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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