i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
