i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
God, I missed his penis.
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