I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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