barbara walters just said penis...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
