Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
