we have pet lesbian snakes
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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