i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
