When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
