Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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