did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
