i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
