yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
