MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
