just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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