Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
