Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
