i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
