K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
