how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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