well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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