Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
