i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
