I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I want a musical about memes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So. Much. Porn.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
