ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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