i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
