mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
