Christians are straight up FREAKS
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
