I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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