I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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