In the future we'll all be gay
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
