ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize