I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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