so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
